NOT AN ANGEL PITCH FOR AN ANGEL INVESTORS
If there was a Community of Anonymous Incurable Startupers, the greeting of the participants would sound like: “Hello, my name is Katerina, and I have no traction! But I am desperately keep looking for investments.”
It seems that Hell looks the same for dishonest investors — you are sitting on a golden throne and there is an endless line of startupers next to you and everyone says the same phrase — “I have no traction give me money”.
So, let me introduce myself. My name is Katerina! I am a musician and a founder of an amazing application, it is really marvellous — your pocket AI music video director.
But oops…We have no traction, no paying users yet, cos we are in the early prototype stage, but we have a team of 6 passionate people (musicians, engineers, and a designer) oh and yes! we need 100 thousand dollars! (Imagine music from X-files)
With that being said, we need an Angel with huge wings and the brightest halo on his head! Right? ofc Right.
Of course, guys, probably you are now thinking: “100 grands to anonymous Kate? I’d better burn it on camera and upload it on youtube.” It would be more useful to have millions of views on YouTube!
By the way, today I recorded a video on YouTube for a friend of mine. The guy is even more hot-head than me. He has 5 children, cat and dog, and moreover he is a bass player. And, oh my God (!!!), He is a Startup guy! I was sharing my experience, complaining about all the difficulties. To which he replied — hold on, this is just the beginning and the most difficult thing is ahead!
It didn’t help me in any way, but now, at least I know whom I can call for a drink in a cheap local bar when I’ll get stuck with my startup next time. Yep. Right. But no, no, ofc no. I will not. I won’t call him — not only he has five children he also has a wife. Speaking about his wife. I truly believe she is a heroine — her husband is a startuper! Btw, my husband is a drummer… so, perhaps, I’m even more heroic than she is? So I’d rather call her to get drunk.
But it is still a controversial issue, what is worse — a wife-startupper or a husband?
Actually, my family treats me with understanding too. Even a little bit with pity. Now, when I need to do homework with my child, for example math, or solfeggio, I always have an excuse — “your Mummy is busy, building a multi-billion intergalactic company!!! Especially if the homework is solfeggio. However, I do build it. But I guess that everyone in my family thinks that it’s still just an excuse and I do not like solfeggio. Have you ever inverted Dominant 7th Chord?
One day Facebook accelerator released an application that was exactly the same as the one we are making. I was Shocked! I was sitting in the kitchen and could hardly restrain myself from tearing off a tuft of hair from my head. So, I was sitting in shock repeating to myself: “What should I do? What should I do?” The husband passed by and said: “Dinner”.
But a few months later he started giving me more useful advice. For example, this morning after another family squabble and disputes in the Neapolitan style… By the way, speaking about squabbles, I strongly recommend using Italian for family debates. Firstly, the neighbours will envy the style of your role-playing games, and secondly, no one will guess that the disputes will be blown out due to an unpaid mortgage or socks in the wrong place”.
So, this morning after another family squabble and disputes in the Neapolitan style… He calmly asked: “Would you like to go to the firearm shooting range?”